what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
