Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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