theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
