I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
