Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
