I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
