I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
