I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
