And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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