I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
