Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
