i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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