As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
