one two three fourrrrnication!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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