perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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