so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
