Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
