Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
