so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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