Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
