Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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