hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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