you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
