Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My penis needs a shock collar
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
