is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
