She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
