haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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