just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
