I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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