The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
