Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
