what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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