i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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