I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
false alarm. still invincible.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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