I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
