he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
