The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
