He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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