you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
