Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
