Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
