i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
