worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
