We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
