So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
