I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
