Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i came on her dog
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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