Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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