I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
