The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
