I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
